These last 8 weeks are the first time in a very long time that I have been without employment. It has been strange, frustrating, fun, hard and just what I needed for the time being. The first week we were here I was relaxed and happy with where we were at in life. My husband just got a job of his dreams and we had a whole new adventure before us.
As the second week rolled around I anxiously awaited the arrival of our internet package so I could begin the job hunt. Once the internet did arrive, it was overwhelming how many jobs there are to choose from. Most of the jobs I wasn't even interested in. Praying and hoping that one would appear out of thin air, I continued to browse Craigs List and the Oregon Employment Department site daily.
I then got the idea to just start subbing. They make pretty good money in Oregon and I could do that for the rest of the school year. I called the school district, they directed me another state office where I was informed they only hire subs in June and July for the following school year. Also, if I want to get signed up to sub I am going to have to get an Oregon teaching license which is a small fee of about $200. Wait a second, I want to make money- not spend it. Well, check that one off my list for now.
Continue praying and hoping, and even applied for a few jobs here or there. No response, nothing. Had the feeling to wait for the Oregon FFA State Convention. Went to it and had a fabulous time! Did some networking and made some connections for two possible job opportunities. As soon as I returned home I pursued more information about them. Both ended up being dead ends for now.
Questions keep coming here and there, "So do you work? What do you do with your time? Aren't you going crazy just being at home? Or telling people what my degree was in their response is, not many jobs like that around here."
This is where I started to get really angry and scared. What if I never find a job? What if I am never able to have kids? Great, I will just be a person who has no future and no ambition.(Crazy thoughts that aren't true, but that is what I was thinking).
You know that quote by President Monson, "Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, “I’ll try again tomorrow.” Over the past couple of weeks I have implemented that on multiple days. Finally, through scripture study, prayers, encouragement and wisdom of others, and because of my dear sweet husband, I have come to realize my worth does not come from my work. My worth comes because I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father who has blessed me with specific atrributes and abilities.He knows where I am at right now and knows who he needs to be. Be patient and trust Him.
I am still hunting for a job, but am finding so much joy in being able to serve my husband, my family, and those around me. Being able to learn about things I am interested in and being able to index names and cook and sew and build my abilities to present myself as a skilled person with many abilities to employers.
My prayers have changed from, "Please help me to find a job," to rather, "Please bless me with the abilities I need to be able to find a job." I can say my back has been strengthened to endure this little challenge in life and my hope has increased.
There has been days that I have wondered why I got my degree in Agricultural Education? I have felt recently that the word agriculture can be a turn off to many outside of the agriculture profession. However, I know that I made the right decision while in college. I was taught by the best and while my education is in agriculture, my work skills reach far beyond that industry.
I have a friend in my ward who has helped me network with some people in her company. I am hoping all goes well with this application, but if not I know I will still be ok and to keep pressing forward with hope and joy in my life right now.
I truley am so blessed in my life and this little discomfort is so much easier to go through than what so many around me are experiencing right now. There is much joy in the journey, but sometimes I believe it is a journey just to find it, but always well worth it if we will put forth the effort.
Justin and Ruth Blazzard
Ruth - I can relate in a lot of ways. I have to remind myself to not let it get to me when people ask me what I'm doing with my life. (Subbing isn't to impressive to most of the population!) Every once in a while I do a "I've been graduated from college for two years and I have nothing to show for it!!!" meltdown. But then I remember that Heavenly Father doesn't care about our resume. He cares about the important stuff. That we are good wives. That we are fulfill our church callings. That we are TRYING to be mothers. Thanks for your faith in this post. It inspired me!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was looking into subbing in Oregon, it said you didn't have to have an Oregon teaching license, you could get a subbing license by sending them a copy of your out-of-state license. Does that still cost $200 to just get a subbing license?
ReplyDeleteKeep the faith Ruth! I've had to remind myself lots of times that Heavenly Father knows where I am and what I need to be doing. Although I think that maybe I need to go out and get a job to help support our little family, He reminds me that the boys are my most important calling and that He will help make ends meet. I'm just glad to know that Heavenly Father is in control and that He really does have our best interests at heart.